It's not fair. It's not fair that I've been trying so hard to hold my emotions back for so long, and you couldn't hold back yours, and yours included being some kind of upset with me, and added the last thing I can take to the flood, and the dam is breaking. And it started breaking, and I started crying, and you verbally expressed negative feelings about that. To which I tried to compose myself.

And now I'm in my room alone and my carefully constructed dam is broken, and this time I don't know if I can stop the flood. I'm left to comfort myself and pull myself together and I don't know if I can. The only direction that seems effective is bitterness, but that will be worse and probably isn't sustainable anyway. I don't know how much time I have left doing anything besides sobbing endlessly. I'm buying time but it's getting more expensive by the minute. You pushed the button that broke the thing, and still I only get the comfort I can pull from myself. It's not fair, and it may not even be possible.

And nowhere is safe. Kierna and my little are both sad and scared and crying too.